The Wait

                          

                                    
It was tough to open all my secrets to YOU...
I was so naive,
That...
I like-ed YOU...
I trust-ed YOU...
I admire-ed YOU...
I respect-ed YOU...

 But 

Every time I decide-ed I won`t give in my courage
YOU come and break in like a storm...
YOU were like wind...
came and gone in a eyes glance
That little affection YOU carry around...
Hits me harder
I can`t imagine my life without YOU
All I want-ed was to...
be with YOU 
stand by YOU
argue with YOU
fight with YOU
support YOU

But

All YOU gift-ed ME was 
push-ing ME down
abandon-ing MY heart
murder-ing MY feelings

But

Why I don`t understand?
I keep WAITING for YOU...
Wishing to see the rainbow of your eyes
Coz I know you`ll come back
Only to leave ME again...


                                          I thought it was only me...
                                         But now YOU`ve found her
                                         And I know that 
                                        YOU can never look at me
                                        The way YOU look at her...

And the reason why I don`t want to blame YOU
For this woe is coz
It was never your fault...

I kept hearing things,
The ones YOU never verbalized
I kept holding on to promises,
Which YOU never made
I made myself believe that,
YOU were the only ONE I needed
And I kept believing that someday,
Your transient feeling towards ME
Will blossom into something else

but

how could I forget that,
what we want the most 
is the only thing that is never gonna happen...?!

                                             For now...
                                             I hope YOU`ll realize
                                             how it feels
                                             To be stranded on thruway
                                             that leads to NOWHERE...!!!
  

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Here For You...

                               
                                  Indolent were those days...
                                before I met you
                                Each tomorrow was same as yesterday...
                                books squeezed most of my time
                               
                               Then YOU entered my life...
                                things were`nt the same anymore
                                Every new day began with a hope...
                                sweet feeling slowly crept in

                               Moment of bliss bust in...
                               every moment with you was blessed
                               Time just flew by...
                               The joy that you bring , filled my day

what more could I ask for?
elated by the very feeling...
wishing upon a star ,
but...
Yes, I was cut down...

                               The feelings I have for you...
                               never seem to die,
                               I keep having those memories...
                               And I don`t why ?
                                
                                Memories of what we talked... 
                               what we thought,
                                how we felt...
                                Still stay in my head,
                              
                                 Although my heart was torn...
                                 I did nothing but forgive,
                               We pushed through our lives...
                                 And we continued to live

Tablets of the memory,
 never faded away...

Because sometimes I go back,

before each breaking day...

                              Being friends was one thing...

                              that we both agreed,

                               Upon all of this...

                              I thought I was freed,

                                   

                              Freed from everything

                              That kept me to you, 

                               But I`m still not...

                              And I know it`s true,

                             

                              Now its all empty...

                              in the valley of my heart,

                             As hard as it might be...

                             Sometimes, we just have to let go,

I don't know,

how to handle a complicated heart...

 If I had to pray for someone,

I`d pray for you...

       

                             I`m stuck without a voice,

                             without thoughts...

                            And without the strength,

                             to move on...

                            

                             This is something,

                              I need to do on my own...

                             This is the path You chose,

                             This is the way I should go...

                            

                               Because the one thing I do know,

                              Being pulled back to reality,

                              And to let my heart be untroubled by judgements 

                            Is I can bring my feelings to death...

  

Even if we are,

never again together...

I`m always Here For You

Always and forever...

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Cremated Truth

                           It`s tormenting when you want to share something with a person who means a lot to you but yet that very person becomes the last human on this earth you would ever want to tell the Truth

                           Coz deep down you know...it would definitely hurt them, your views would`nt be appreciated and the remaining 'bits and pieces' could also be lost. Eventually peace of mind is lost too, as you are left with No solution. Everything seems flawed when you think too much. I guess that's what happens when lot of things remain unsaid, they cloud up inside your head and mess it up...

                             In the battle between the brain and the heart, the brain normally wins. Even if heart looses, it does`nt allow the brain to stay happy. Deep feelings can be dangerous at times...!!
                                  

                                     
                           Instead of clinging to the shreds of possibilities with a false hope of reliving them again, perhaps it`s wise enough to hold  a firm grip upon yourself and fake-around. Thereby, truth has to  be Hidden Deep. In that way you can avoid hurting many people and when question comes about your heart... Well, huh! who cares ??? ;)



P.S Hard to Forget... Harder to Express...

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